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Old Ben and the Sea

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"Obey-Funkin Obey is a great mentor; as wise as Maestro योद्धा Muppet, as powerful as Maestrix Dark Meat, and as strategic as Admiral Takbīr Akbar."
―Darth Willhelm Freyywänker III; Raulduke of New Oxfordshire

Obey-Funkin Obey; Yoda Maestro;
First Chancellor of the 2nd Empire [1871-1890 ABY]





"Who's more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?"

"The Force has a special providence for fools, drunkards, and the United Empire of the New Republic."

"Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. A Yoddha learns from the mistakes of others." | "Fools learn from experience. I prefer to learn from the experience of other Maestros."

"When you want to fool the universe, tell the truth."




"Crowned heads, wealth and privilege may well tremble should ever again the Black and Red unite!"
-after the split between Jedi-Anarchists and Sith-Marxists, Den Haag !872 BBY

"Politics is the art of the possible, the attainable; the art of the next best."

"Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied."

"People never lie so much as before an election, during a war, or after a hunt."

"Preventive war is like committing suicide out of fear of death."

"Be polite; write diplomatically; even in a declaration of war one observes the rules of politeness."

"Anyone who has ever looked into the glazed eyes of a soldier dying on the battlefield will think hard before starting a war."

"The Dark Father had two souls in his breast, but I harbor a whole crowd of them and they quarrel. It is like being in the Galactic Senate Hearing Chamber."

"One man cannot control the current of events; He can only float with them and steer."

"The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with the InterGalactic Banking Clan of Gringott's BlackRock."

"Politics are not a science based on FAMlog; they are the capacity of always choosing at each instant, in constantly changing situations, the least harmful, the most useful."

"Laws are like ChūBaka's sausages; It's better not to see them being made."

"The Katarns will follow the Nerf Herders who feed them."

"The great questions of the day; will not be settled by means of speeches and majority decisions; but by blood and blasters." | "Not by speeches and votes of the majority, are the great questions of the time decided — that was the error of 1848 and 1849 — but by blasters and blood."

"The main thing is to make history; not to write it." 

"The statesman's task is to hear the footsteps of the Force marching through history, and to try and catch on to her coattails as she marches past."

"I have a burden on my soul. During my long life, I did not make anyone happy, neither my friends, nor my comrades, nor even myself. I have done many evil things.. I was the cause of the beginning of three big wars. About 800 million people were killed because of me on the battlefields; and their mothers, brothers, and widows cried for them. And now this stands between me and the Force."

"It is the manifest.. destiny.. of the light side.. to be devoured by the dark side.. unless you'd.."


"الحياة أشبه بالتواجد عند طبيب الأسنان. فأنت تعتقد دائما أن الأسوأ هو الذي لا يزال في طريقه إليك، رغم أنه يكون قد انتهى بالفعل." -The Prince signs the GND





(D4D4) >> iops integrity initiative >> iops institute for statecraft >> Prof. Dr. h. c. mult. I. Z. Nessuno-Raskolnikov >> (FAMstrat) >> 2019

Discussion 26 Comments

  • Irie Zen 8th Feb 2019


  • Irie Zen 8th Feb 2019

  • Irie Zen 8th Feb 2019

  • Boulder Dash 8th Feb 2019

    Time makes history not people. Just sitting in a chair is making history. You don’t change history, you change things you can, like economic systems, and then that IS history.

    Quotes and blogs and blogs and quotes and YouTube videos.

    • Irie Zen 9th Feb 2019

      Comments and blogs on comments on blogs and disussions and comments on YT's videos and blogs on blogs and conversation about quotes and blogs and blogs on quotes and YT's videos on leaders* who might inspire people who eventually write about history and time to inspire workers* and leaders* who inspire people to CHANGE and to change THINGS like economic systems and.. change IS history. Just sitting in the chair isn't writing; isn't his story.

      Obey1: "I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
      Dark Dada: "I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!"
      Obey1: "Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!"
      Dark Dada: "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"
      Obey1: "Well, then you are lost!"
      Dark Dada: "This is the end for you, my master."

    • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019

      Nothing wrong with sitting in a chair. It would be his story or her story...not my story, nor a mystery...just the history of sitting in a chair...if one noticed...people, just a person, not anything in particular...not a writer not anything necessarily inspiring...in Spring, or Autumn, Winter or a Summer, allowing time to do its thing...no blogs, no quotes, no reading, no comments, no nothing...no thang...no doing other than just sitting...in or out with no stars or wars or moons or Dark Dadas, Old Bens or strange things...no codes or software, programs and fears, theories or tears...just the hard wear of a chair making her story history...life is being not dead and herstory requires the self aware life and then it takes care of itself...nothing more than that...nothing more than Saturday the 9th of February...an arbitrary thang...just no thang in particular...an asshole in the sand...an asterix at the end of a world...just a mark, a play, a note momentarily collapsed from a cloud...ah fuck it.

  • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019

  • Dave Jones 9th Feb 2019

    Pull the Wool Over Your Own Eyes. Bob

    • Irie Zen 9th Feb 2019

      Definition pull the wool over sb's eyes: to deceive, to hoodwink someone in order to prevent them from discovering something.

      The natural assumption is that this phrase derives from the wearing of woollen wigs, which were fashionable for both men and women in the 16th and 17th centuries. The phrase itself is of 19th century American origin. The earliest example of it in print that I have found is in the Gettysburg newspaper The People’s Press, November 1835

      "We are glad to find among the leading Vanites, at least one man, whose conscience will not permit him to 'go the whole hog' in pulling the wool over the people’s eyes"

      At first sight, the 'wig' derivation sounds like a plausible derivation but there must be an element of doubt about it as the wearing of wigs had largely died out in the USA by the early 19th century. The tradition has continued in Europe where the judiciary of several countries wear wigs in court. Not so in the USA, where the third president Thomas Jefferson (President between 1801 - 1809), although a wig wearer himself, advised the judiciary there:

      "For Heaven’s sake discard the monstrous wig which makes the English judges look like rats peeping through bunches of oakum."

      If not the wearing of wigs then what is the derivation of 'pull the wool over someone's eyes? Well, we don't know; and whos Bob? Ottos brows are impressive though. XD

    • Irie Zen 9th Feb 2019

      I love Bob. He beats the devil out of the brushes. "That's the fun part."

    • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019

      Who IS "Bob"?

      While yet the least approachable or scrutable of the vast SubGenius membership, he is the preeminent and most frequently invoked of the god-zillion Personal Saviors of the SubGenius. While he remains an anonymous executive shunning publicity or recognition at a faceless multinational corporation, he is nevertheless The Most Ascended Master, the original Retriever of Jehovah's Message on Earth and basic model of the Archetype SubGenius. He set the "anti-pattern" of random conduct among all those who are now practicing SubGeniuses. His are the defects and peccadillos that we 'analize,' his the Slongs and Jests which we devotedly twist and distort for future generations according to our unexplored whims. - And yet the only photos of him that exist are grainy frame blow-ups from Grade Z movie thrillers in which he played bit parts!
      Dobbs is, of course, the ultimate symbol of SubGeniusness, but despite/because of his infrahuman mediumship he possesses one single failing above and beyond all other shortcomings: his omninclusive FOLLIES. Yet where they would be crippling stubbing-blocks for another person, in Dobbs they loom stranger-than-life. His ten billion all-too-human quasimodalities embody, in some cheaply symbolic way, all the Foibles of the Primate Race. Dobbs is a miacrocosm encapsulating the imperfektions of the so-called 'human condition;' his Blunders and Idiocies, errors and inadvertencies are perhaps more sacrosanct, more deserving of analitization than even his hallowed salesmanship. None of "Bob's" words or deeds are particularly spectacular: their holiness lies in their nondescript but inviolable triviality. As Dobbs once 'spouted,' "The stupider it looks, the more important it probably is."
      Since his Emaculation, Dobbs has been divinely shoved down the behavio-electric Path of Least Resistance to become the living incarnation of Slack on Earth. As mysteriously and profitably as he doles out his prophecies and cassette messages, he unfailingly (yet, perhaps, accidentally) enrichens himself with material things using only the exagerated human nature he was born with. Just as the Nazarene was a carpenter, so is "Bob" a salesman - the High Sales Man of the SubGenius - and whereas his stature as hero and holyman of the SubGenius flock is still obscure to the Mediocretins who make up 80flo of the Overpop, among fellow salesmen he is internationally known as "The Man Who Can Sell Anything."
      "Bob's" surreavolutionary doctrine of PATRIO-PSYCHOTIC ANARCHO-MATERIALISM has found ever-larger numbers of zealous adherents despite relentless persecution by the FBI and other robot engines of the Conspiracy. Furthermore, Dobbs is the only Adept to pass the scrutiny of The Illuminati Corporation's rigorous scientific tests for ectosplasmodic manifestations.

    • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019

      The church of sub-genius. Genius!

    • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019


      The World Ends Tomorrow and YOU

      Well, no, probably not...but whatever you do, just keep reading!



      DO YOU??

      "Unpredictables" are not alone and possess amazing hidden powers of their own!

      Are You Abnormal?

      If you are what they call "different" --
      If you think we're entering a new Dark Ages --
      If you see the universe as one vast morbid sense of humor --
      If you are looking for an inherently bogus religion that will condone superior degeneracy and tell you that you are "above" everyone else --
      If you can help us with a donation --

      could save your sanity!

      "You'd PAY to know what you REALLY think." --Dobbs 1961

      You may have 'Snapped' already from the information disease! ("The sleep of reason begets monsters.")
      The Church of the SubGenius recognizes the programming!
      Look to the High Unpredictables of the Church of the SubGenius for pancultural deprogramming and resynchronization!
      Perfect your subliminal vision -- edit your memory -- relive your reincarnality! SYNC UP!

      This is the original Time Control program that has helped thousands to fear no longer the STARK FIST of REMOVAL.

      Become PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE -- overnight!

      Now you, too, can speak to benevolent aliens at the Alter of X-ist Contact. Learn Frame Straightening, Body Repair, Gripe Elaboration, FunKQu, Frenzy Techniques, Excremeditation, the Essentials of Survival and TIME CONTROL. Attettd End O' The World Drills and Chance Labs. Learn to 'Tenlike. Evaluate the so-called "accidents" and "coincidences" in your timestream. Perform long, complicated rites of initiation and rituals of Communionication. Accullate yourself to the Church, where you will be isolated, given a new diet, a new set of habits, and an altered label and appearance. The new void in your bran-pan will be refilled with corrected info and subconsciously implanted ritual experiences. Follow your FOLLIES and COMPULSIONS and become rich like us.
      Explore the "Zen" of stupidity! Channel chronic procrastination into life-saving paranoia and precise anatityl MAKE WASTE!!
      Find out who your Personal Saviors may be and who are the False Prophets in your life!


      • Llegó la hora del fin

      Using SubGenius secrets of BULLDADA and MOREALISM you can now MIRACULOUSLY ELIMINATE COMPULSIVE URGES such as smoking, lethargizing, overeating, insomnia, the inability to take drugs, constipation, old age, sex and money problems, baldness, illness, the Work Instinct, assouliness, and painful shortage of SLACK!

      This is a certified religion of scorn and vengeance directed at all of THEM, the enemies of us Outsiders. It is "self-help" thorugh scoffing and blaspheming, frenzied fornication and the Tumping of Graven Images. The Church provides answers and miracles in the service of SUREAVOLUTION.
      "Ignore the man behind the curtain" -- Oz
      The Church of the SubGenius is the ultimate secret order, the superior brain cult for those who "know better" but who demand in the LUST for GRINS a spectacular, special-effects-laden belief system -- a 'stuporstition.'

      This religion, devised by precise mathematical formulae, weirder than the most obscure UFO/Atlantis cults, is invaluable to all superior renegades who, at any time, are justifiably on the edge of insanity and can be made whole only by developing a seventh sense of BLUDGEON HUMOR.


      Pamphlets and Newsletters, Comix and Personality Test, Cassette Propaganda, Posters, Buttons, T-Shirts, Bumper Stickers, Uniforms, SubG Vicarships and Doktorates, Art Objects, Love Potions, Voodoo Dolls, Mojo Bags, JUJU, Peen Worms, HiJohn Deconk'us Root, Secret Signs and Ciphers, "Sacraments," Indulgences, Graven Images, False Idols, Relics, Artifacts, Talismans, Magic Amulets, "Bob" Tokens, SubGenius True Crosses, 7-Bladed Wind-breakers, fake Scissors of Sight, Cowboy-with-H-Bomb toys, ALIEN CONTACT ALTERS, Slogans, Mottos, Tenets, Laws, LUCK, LOOKS, S, ANSWERS, HEALINGS, MIRACLES, PHENOMENA, Lectures, Revivals, Fortunes Told, Predictions, Industrial Consultation, Seances, Levitation, Personal Brain Treatments, "IONIZATION," Resynchronization, Blemish Readings, and Antilogical Charting. Also try our Marriages, Baptisms, Burials, Initiations, Dial-A-Demon Phone-Ins, Celebrity COnverts, Mascots, and Cheerleaders...and visit The SubGenius HQ FisTemple Lodge - SubGenius Retreats - Quasimotels - Fan Clubs - Consumptionland Abusement Park ( ''Where Pa'Buckers Reign")...and patronize Hefty Midget Cut-Rate Liquors...hear the SUBGENIUS RADIO MINISTRY...watch the SUBGENIUS TV MINISTRY...and, "if you can help us with a donation," the SubGenius Foundation Investment Corporation will eventually reveal to you the SECRETS OF THE CULT!!


      Book of the SubGenius
      Revelation X
      The Life of Dobbs
      The Essentials of Survival
      Reincarnancient Sub-History of the World (w/Atlas)
      SubGenius Cyclopaedia
      The SubG Relabeling Dictionary
      Things to See, Say, and Do
      Things to Think and Know
      Things to Buy

      ('*' indicates Dobbs films)

      * ARISE! - The SubGunius Film
      * LIFE OF "BOB"
      * GIRL KRAZED w/ The 3 Dhooges
      * "BOB'S" LUNCH HOUR
      * LON CHANEY 2000



      WE'RE PUBLISHING AGAIN! ACTUAL BOOKS ON PAPER! (And ebooks via Kindle.) We started with the incredible science fiction / black humor novel by Lonesome Cowboy Dave DeLuca, NEIGHBORWORLD. You can order the trade paperback from us and/or see a digital preview of the Kindle version on Amazon!

      We have our own new ROKU SubGenius TV channel! Hour of Slack Radio is broadcast and streamed new every week. A NEW SALE DAWNS in both of our CATALOGS. The SubGenius music CDs are now downloadable! THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS is here! SubGenius events are happening all over the world this year. X-DAY is held at an exotic site (in darkest Ohio!) every July. The exciting new do-it-yourself virus we invented for the SubGenius Art Mines is spreading throughout our website, sometimes spilling over even into the so-called "reality" that we SubGenii are forced to share with the humans. The vigorous health of this virus is the result of its careful design by an ever-growing team of SubGenius coders -- Slack-filled young men and women of Yeti descent who are spread, SEEMINGLY randomly, throughout the breakthinking world... but are bent on breaching all Earthly human political and cultural barriers with the searing nonhuman truth of the Word of "Bob": J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, that LIVING GOD WHO WALKS THIS PLANET EARTH (?) IN HUCKSTER'S SHOES.

      You can, with a credit card, or PayPal, just flat-out give us money, for NOTHING:

    • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019


    • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019


    • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019


    • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019


    • Irie Zen 10th Feb 2019

      ^^ Ohh; now I get it; that's why there's a King Bob Version of the BBB_ook in almost every US hotel room..

      Season #42, Episode #MMXIX, Scene #23
      The FFF_alse pro_FFF_its must FFF_all
      Batman joins the church of sth. scienceologicski

      [Echoes from a darkened alley]

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "Whaddayadoin' here bruw? I'm Batman."

      Bob Dobbs: "Proselytizin'; the usual noam sayin'? Spreadin' the word."

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "Which one?"

      Bob Dobbs: "The only one."

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "That is?"

      Bob Dobbs: "Where are you from? Europe?"

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "Yeah; Pfeffersack City, Holland. All gone now; Damn global warming."

      Bob Dobbs: "M'kay; whatever."

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "Tell me about this word; c'mon; I'm Batman."

      Bob Dobbs: "I need a new fry cook for my ship."

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "A smutje? I know some recipes, I'm Batman."

      Bob Dobbs: "I'm a very, very proud Sci..; Scienty..; Sciency..; Shit! Sci-en-ceo-logi-cist noam sayin? Captain Bob, OTL19; Commander of a decent little vessel within the Sea Org; the mighty subsubsubmarine Asherah; Dinghy class.

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "Cool, cool."

      Bob Dobbs: "Granted with a letter of marque and reprisal; noam sayin'? We only take personal orders from His Serene Majesty Lafayette R. Hubbard's second clone, Maestro Kilgore Trout and rear admiral Dave Mischiefcarriage."

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "That sounds reasonable; almost impressive; can I come? I don't have any money."

      Bob Dobbs: "No problemo my son. Take these flyers, go knock on every door in this wealthy favela-burbclave and rattle the donation box. Rattle-rattle-rattle; See.."

      [Dobbs rattles, Bruce takes "Dobbs' flyers" (Item#2323) [LINK], "Pandora's Box" (Item#2187) and starts to read]

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "What's that? 'I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come from the mouth of the dragon, from the mouth of the beast, and from the mouth of the false prophet;' I don't get it."

      Bob Dobbs: "Lesson numero uno my son; Stop; Askin'; Silly; Questions. You'll figure it out. That's just a code we use; They'll know. It's a game we play. Here; take this bar of soap."

      [Dobbs gives "Soap" (Item#0023) to Bruce]

      Bob Dobbs: "Here's what you gotta do'n'say. 'Here's your soap Madame; Soap; It's like butter; Soap; Smooth and creamy; Soap; You can't believe it's not butter; Soap..;' hand out a flyer; not the soap; Never let 'em touch the soap.. and start to rattle. Rattle-rattle-rattle. You can dance a little if you like; but don't say anything. Don't react; just rattle. Rattle-rattle-rattle. They'll give you some dough; you say 'Thank yo momma; Fridays for future;' and that's all you need to know my son."

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "What about the cookin'?"

      Bob Dobbs: "What about the cookin' captain!"

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: "What about the cookin' captain?"

      Bob Dobbs: "Yeah; yeah; when you're done with the rattlin' take some doe outta the boe and hit the Supermerca.. doe. Surprise me chef. I'll wait for ya over there at Starbucks and work on my styles and looksies."

      Bruce Wayne - age 13: [leaving] "I'm Batman. I'm hungry."




    • Boulder Dash 10th Feb 2019

      I don’t

  • Alex of... 9th Feb 2019

    help me Obi Gnome Kenobi, you're my only soap..


    the right to hustle...

    corporate cleansed version with visual stimulation

    bootleg explicit with missing image (if you don't look good)

  • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019

    Spider: Bit of nostalgia for the old folks!
    Gilly: I'm advocating dark clothes
    Becky: If I'm not alone... How long have I been asleep?
    Gilly: As long as I have
    Maxine: Did you ever live in a drum?
    Becky: No
    Maxine: Well then you aren't me
    Gilly: I only dreamt I lived in a drum. Ever since it got dark. Dreaming is hard
    Susan Kelly: Yeah, but with nothing over your head?
    Gilly: No, just light over my head. And underneath too
    Susan Kelly: I don't think I could take it without anything over my head
    Maxine: Mm-mmh, I couldn't either
    Becky: Well why don't you go out and see what's out there?
    Gilly: Well... I don't know if that's what's out there
    Maxine: Now that's a thought. If you'd like...
    Gilly: Yes... But still you can say darker and darker. I don't know what the outside of this thing looks like at all
    Guy #1: I do. It's dark and murky
    John Kilgore: How do you get your... your water so dark?
    Guy #1: 'Cause I'm paranoid. I'm very paranoid. And the water in my washing machine turns dark out of sympathy
    John: Out of sympathy?
    Guy #1: Yes
    John: Um... where can I get that?
    Guy #1: At your local drugstore
    John: How much?
    Guy #1: It's from Kansas

  • Boulder Dash 9th Feb 2019

    Spider: We're gonna put a little motor in 'em
    John: I could have all sorts of different kinds of names for the motors . . . although the motors would be the same . . .
    Spider: There's dry motors and wet motors, right?
    John: Right
    Spider: The motor for a bill is a dry motor, so after they put that thing in there for about half an hour, they suddenly can't stand it without having a wet motor too. So, if they try to get away with spending only a bill, they end up spending about five 'cause they gotta get this, this four bill wet motor
    John: Good idea
    Spider: Now we have a damp motor for the ones who aren't sure